


Bitin' the Booty

by hamadilite



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2004318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamadilite/pseuds/hamadilite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something sinister this way comes.... Will Jake face what waits for him behind the trees?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitin' the Booty

Jake, shirtless as constantly ever, was appointed on this day to parole the turf. He never minded this job, seeing, as it was an adventurous opportunity in which he always sought. Then again, there was nowhere to be but the border, so it wasn’t _that_ adventurous, he guessed. But on a secondary positive, it was nice not having to do much. As long there was no vampires around.

There was suspicious rustling from the crowd of pines several meters away, and Jake got in defense position. However, only the silence met him. Just as he was about to conclude that he was going bonkers, the shaking noise got more aggressive. More than certain it was a fairy, Jake transformed into a wolf like SHABANG. His anatomy became canine-like, black fur sprouting all about his body. The now wolf lunged towards the forest in excitement. He couldn’t wait to catch a fairy.

What he found instead was a dreaded surprise. A lean, pale man stood up from the bleeding body of a deer, turning to regard the creature.  _Oh bollocks_ , Jake thought. _It’s just another blasted vampire. Well, he may be a vampire, but I still wasn’t wrong on the fairy part._

To add to his displeasure, he sought his face in the shadow of the trees to find it was one Dirk Strider, the vampire who’s dating a twelve-year-old. And that wasn’t the only thing, because Dirk was one hundred and nine-years-old! BLUH!!!!!!!!

“Strider! You have no business here. You can’t just hunt on our land; it’s against treaty code!” Jake exclaimed with dogly irritation. He bared his fangs at the killer he stood opposite of. “I could run you through and tear you apart right now.”

Dirk stared for a moment longer, his satisfied orange eyes gazing with such intensity it would make teenage girls everywhere shit themselves. Then with a mysterious flash-stepping ability he harnessed, he was right up in that stanky snout.  “And what end are you going to run me through?”

“Wha-?” But he couldn’t even form the entire word before Dirk had him by the ears. _Oh sweet jiminy Christ, he’s going to rip them off!!!_ Despite Jake’s, er, insightful thoughts, he. Was. WRONG. It felt as if the other was scratching him behind the ears, and boy, did it get to him. The large wolf let his big doge booty thump to the ground, tail wagging speedily. “Ooooh yeah. Hey, just a little to the left now! Just- ah. Ahhhhh. Yup, that’s the spot chum.” He crooned in delight, shaking on of his back legs. The exclaims graduated into quiet howls.

“Goooooood boy. Maybe you should have a moon to go with them howls.” And with that, the vampire pulled his bony hands away and shoved down his pants.  “You going to ram me through or what, hunk?” He turned around and wiggled his white booty where Jake watch it.

Jake was still in a daze from the scratching, and could barely understand Dirk coherently. “Do what now?”

“Go on. Stick that thick muscle in there. Tear my butthole apart.” He parted those fucking asscheeks to show his puckered hole.

"Oh okay.” Jake hunkered forward and put the tongue in. Dirk moaned sensually as he tongue fricked him. Soon enough, the bloodsucker pulled away.

“My turn.” Jake looked on with a confused expression as Dirk pulled up his pants over his butt that was covered in drool. Then, with a snap of his gay fingers, Jake somehow became human again by some voodoo bitch majyyks.

Dirk stridered over casually and shoved the naked wolfboy on the ground so that his rosy bum was in the air and his face was smushed against the ground. Before Jake had any time to relax, Dirk bit into the butt and sucked lovingly. It was rly painful for Jake. But also very romantic.

Sooner or later, the vampire pulled back and admired his work. Jake’s bum was no longer rosy. Uh oh. In panic, Dirk grabbed a bucket of red paint and slapped it on the ass to make the cheeks look blushing again. Ah, there we go.

Jake was passed out in pleasure. Dirk sighed happily. “Well, my work here is done.” He turned into an albino bat and flew away, glittering like the faces of little girl’s at a princess themed party when he crossed from the shadows of the forest into the sunlight.


End file.
